Blog: Light at the end of the tunnel… or an immovable, unstoppable train… or… both?

Blog: Light at the end of the tunnel… or an immovable, unstoppable train… or… both?

Architect, Anita Rebaudo reflects on the latest Government announcements on the easing of lockdown and what that means to her in her latest blog.

The latest government roadmap announcement has brought clarity to how our lives could/should look moving forwards. Collectively we’ve been eagerly awaiting this news. But now that it’s been announced…. were you really prepared for it?

Honestly, I don’t think I was…

The light at the end of the tunnel for me personally includes so many amazing things: being able to hug my parents for the first time in over a year; going on holiday with my best friend; returning to teach fitness classes in a gym (an architect by day, fitness instructor by night); being able to see more than just people’s faces on a screen; and the return of life to Leeds, the city I walk in every day. But the immoveable unstoppable train is the niggling voice in the back of my head telling me that I won’t be able to cope with a pre-COVID normal. I have been living this “COVID normal” for too long and have become so accustomed to the weirdness of life that it has… in fact… become normal.

I think that COVID normal has forced a quiet reflective time on many people (replace that with restrictive if that fits you better) and pre-COVID normal seems too far back to remember.

Despite the dark times over the past year, I’ve benefited and grown immensely as a person (COVID upgrade). I’ve realised that I’m not an introvert and have grown and adapted to find new ways to connect with people, learning a great deal about myself in the process (COVID upgrade).

Personally, I’m no longer afraid to shout, “I’m not okay” and don’t have a constant need to apologise or hide the way I feel. I AM FEELING THIS AND I AM OWNING IT (COVID upgrade).

Hence the news of life returning to pre-COVID normal levels has both excited and terrified me. I’m excited to have the office busy with my work family but at the same time, I’m anxious that I’ll struggle with the overstimulation. I’m excited to have the outside world opening up again but at the same time, I’m anxious about all the time I used to spend commuting and how it will affect my “COVID normal” lifestyle.

Perhaps that’s the reason why, for me, I’m constantly switching between seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and seeing the train… and… do you know what…. that’s okay!

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